1.) Zladko Zlad – Elektronik-Supersonik
Zladko “Zlad!” Vladcik is a fictional character created by Australian comedian Santo Cilauro and is the unofficial mascot of Molvania. Over time, he has become a kind of Internet phenomenon. He is notorious on the Internet for the novelty pop song and music video “Elektronik Supersonik” which, according to Zlad!, “is a melodic fusion combining hot disco rhythms with cold war rhetoric.” “Elektronik Supersonik” is itself a kitschy, over-the-top combination of Electro, Synth Pop, and Europop. Zlad! is featured in a mullet, bushy moustache, and silver spacesuit. His lyrics are often in spoken word or badly sung, not to mention full of hilarious grammatical errors, reversed semantic units, and meta-references to thick Slavic accents.
2.) Armi & Danny – I Wanna Love You Tender
This 80’s Finnish music video called “I Wanna Love You Tender” by Armi & Danny is widely known as the worst music video of all time and is an Internet phenomenon. The choreography of this video was particularly noteworthy. While it was apparently intended to be “erotic and tantalizing”, it principally succeeded in the eyes of many for being hilarious.
3.) F.U.S.B.I. – Come on Back
You may be wondering why you haven’t heard of F.U.S.B.I. A surprise Internet meme, it has popped up in the last few days, centered around calling the video for F.U.S.B.I.’s (a band that is seemingly un-Googleable) “Come On Back” the worst music video of all time. The video tells the story of a chick who drops a 20 dollar bill in an airport… but I won’t give the end away, you will need to check it yourself.
4.) Baltimora – Tarzan Boy
Any song that uses Tarzan’s cry as the melodic line is nothing but outrageous. Tarzan Boy was a huge one-hit wonder for Italian electro-pop dance group Baltimora, in 1985. Sung by frontman Jimmy McShane, it also comes with one of the worst music videos ever created. The song deals with living in the jungle just like Tarzan Boy, and about “monkey business on a sunny afternoon.” The lyrics are certainly some of the worst ever written, however, it is Tarzan’s cry that makes this song so memorable and so loved by many of us. We should really hang our heads in shame.
5.) Tommy Seebach – Apache
In pop culture, Apache is a well-known, often-covered instrumental track written by English songwriter Jerry Jordan. On YouTube, “Apache” also refers to the Danish singer Tommy Seebach’s 1976 rendition of the original composition. The music video—featuring Seebach and his band having a good time with a group of tribal-clothed babes—first came to the spotlight at the Fantasia Film Festival in 2006, when DJ XL5 dubbed Prodigy’s Smack My Bitch Up over the original M/V footage. The dub was a success and soon enough, remixes and dubbed renditions of Apache music video took on a life of its own on YouTube.
6.) Blazin Hazen – The Average Homeboy
Also known as “the average homeboy” and “Denny Blaze”. Blazin Hazen is a rapper – a whack one it might be added, but a rapper nonetheless – who has released a number of albums including “Hot to Trot”, “Bam Boom” and “Blazin”. He has reinforced the stereotype that (almost all) white men cannot rap. His rap comes off as a joke, yet nobody can say for certain whether the Average Homeboy is for real. Hazen claims that “Once you hear my demo you’ll just be BLAZED”. Luckily for him, the meaning of blazed is ambiguous.
7.) Jan Terri – Losing You
Whether riding in a limo or on the back of a hog, this 1993 music video by Jan Terri is nothing less than craptastic. What makes this one great is that she is dead serious. She is a blend of Mrs. Piggy, Jabba The Hut and William Hung.
8.) Steklovata – Nowiy god
This band is called Стеклоvата (Steklovata), and they are from Estonia, but they speak and sing in Russian. They are part of that “orphan-band” movement, which still sometimes emerges in small province cities. But the feature that turned them into a meme is their name. Steklovata in Russian means “glass wool”. As you see, there’s nothing sweet and glossy in that title. Moreover, they have a song which goes under the same title. The lyrics in translation are something like that: It’s all your own fault, you’re thorny like glass wool, glass wool, glass wool, our love turned to be evil, ’cause you’re like glass wool’.
Somehow these guys are a big hit in Russia.
9.) Fannypack – Cameltoe
Moving on up to the year 2003, when a group pf kids from Brooklyn would start to change the world by singing about how to wear clothes on your vagina. A mutlicultural troup, Cat is Irish, Jessibel is half-Puerto Rican and half-Thai, and Belinda is half African-American and West Indian. Ok, maybe the graphics on the video aren’t really bad, but it’s a song about cameltoes, so it had to be in our list.
10.) Weird Al Yankovic – Dare To Be Stupid
This list wouldn’t be complete without a video from “Weird Al” Yankovic. Dare to Be Stupid is the third album recorded by him, released in 1985. The song and video are a parody of Devo, bearing closest musical resemblance to Devo’s “Big Mess”. It describes many stupid things a person can do, such as “Stick your head in the microwave and get yourself a tan.” Several figures of speech are referenced, too. It is one of Al’s most reknowned original songs. It was also used in The Transformers: The Movie, as the theme song for the Junkions.
11.) Crispin Glover “Clownly Clown Clown”
Crispin Hellion Glover (born April 20, 1964) is primarily known as a film actor, but is also a painter, filmmaker, author, musician, and collector and archivist of esoterica. Glover is known for portraying eccentric people on screen, such as George McFly in Back to the Future, Layne in River’s Edge, the “Creepy Thin Man” in the big screen adaptation of Charlie’s Angels and Willard Stiles in Willard. In the early 2000s, Glover started his own production company, Volcanic Eruptions.